Cracker | Food Final Frontier

It’s been too long, foodie friends! Let’s bring sexy back with a tasty treat:

Ritz-cracker Toffee! Huh?

Drop the naysayer attitude and chomp into this deeeeeericious munchie that will have you begging for more. The original recipe centers around saltines, but I had none at hand; instead, I improvised with Ritz, which proved to be a buttery, perfectly acceptable substitute. In fact, you could really put almost any cracker that strikes your fancy in here. Peanut butter? Noms! Shortbread cookie? Possibly excessive, but this is hardly a Weight-watchers friendly recipe as it is.

You will need:

2 sleeves Ritz
1 stick butter
1.5 c chocolate chips
1 cup brown sugar
Chopped nuts, if desired

Preheat the oven to 350. Cover a baking sheet with tin foil and spray a TON cooking oil on top. Anyone who has worked with sugar knows how impossibly impossible (I encourage the redundancy in this case, because it can be a royal pain to deal with harden sugar-syrup).

When it’s good and greasy, spread a single layer of crackers on it:

The gaps inbetween proved to be great recesses to catch the toffee, but if you prefer a more even layer of cracker then break some up into smaller pieces and put them in the gaps.

In a medium saucepan, place the butter and sugar over medium heat.

When it reaches a rolling boil, remove from heat. Do not let it boil for too long or else the sugar will burn:

And pour over the crackers as evenly as possible:

Place in the hot oven for about 5 minutes or until bubbly. Much longer than 5 minutes will cause the crackers to burn a tad, so keep an eye on it.

Sprinkle the chocolate chips on top:

And spread into an even, melty layer with an off-set spatula:

At this point you can sprinkle the top with crumbled crackers, a bit of sea salt, toasted/chopped nuts, or maybe even marshmallows. Hmmm

Place in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or until set. You could eat it when it’s soft, but it won’t be nearly as tasty. When it is hardened, break into smaller pieces and eat it all. You will look something like this:

Basically, guilty and full of shame, but oh so cute.

NOMS!

I was looking for cupcake recipes this past weekend (Seth and Mia’s wedding is coming up! Cupcakes for all!) and stumbled upon dear Nigella’s Irish Blue Cheese Crackers.

Dear Nigella does seem to have a tiny issue with being a little, ah, forthcoming. But by gum the lady does know how to make a mean cracker.

I thought this would be a nice treat for my coworkers, who just spent a week training strange East Coast people in D.C. Poor souls need something comforting to help them forget the bad weather and flirty females!

You will need:
3/4 cup crumbled blue cheese (I used Irish Cashel)
1 stick butter
1 egg yolk
3/4 c flour
1/4 c cornmeal (Nigella calls for blue cornmeal, but the only way that would happen in my house is if the yellow kind grew mold)
Pinch salt

Cut up the butter and let it soften to a seriously mold-able substance.

Add the blue, erring on the side of more.

To avoid getting blue cheese all over your fingers, flake it off the main hunk with a paring knife:

Slap the yolk into the bowl, but reserve the white for brushing later. The crackers, not your hair.

Here’s where I ran into trouble, because I lack a certain amount of patience and didn’t feel like letting the butter soften. I had no choice but to crank up “Money Maker” on the old iPod and really put some serious effort into crafting a homogenous mixture out of what felt like hardened cement. All worth it, in the end!

Add the flour, cornmeal, and salt and mix together.

Don’t bother using a spoon; just go at it with your hands, like some sort of animal. Doubtful that an animal would embark on a cracker-making extravaganza, but oh well.

Lump o’ dough. Flatten into a disc, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

When it’s ready, preheat your oven and dust work surface with flour.

Roll the dough out to about 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. It will be fairly crumbly, so just mash any stray bits back into the dough.

Using your favorite cookie cutter or the top of a glass, cut out all the dough. It should fill one baking sheet because they do not have to be far apart.

Brush the tops with the remaining egg white and bake for 10-15 minutes.

They will bubble from the butter and egg white. When they are toasty brown, take them out and CHOMP!

I thought they were very tasty, but am thinking of experimenting with soaking the cornmeal before hand. For my taste, it came out a little too noticeable. Perhaps cutting it back a couple of tablespoons and subbing a bit more flour would do the trick.

They are flaky and chewy, with the perfect hit of blue cheese. I saw Nigella recommending to smear them with more cheese, but I feel that would be overkill.

Nom..nom..NOM!