Apple Almond Tart

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Food ruts? Yes, I’m familiar. It really hits that you’re in the middle of a funk when a completely brilliant, original¬†recipe or concept crosses your path. The simplicity. The beauty. You smack your forehead and cry out to the abyss “Of course! The bean IS the sauce! It all makes sense again, great merciful god above me!” Then you slide down from the euphoria and excitement into a bottomless pit of depression: “I am clearly incapable of such originality. I do not deserve this whisk. I shall curl into a ball and eat Kraft cheese products until my pants explode.”

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Caramelized Bacon Chutney

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I disagree with hipster folk on most things. Their garb (the ironic floral patterns that look like Aunt Mildred’s couch); their stupid obsession with musicians that have names like “Furry Fire Ants” or “Gassy Lampshade”; all that damn plaid. But one thing I can share an enthusiastic fist bump with them over is artisanal, fancy as hell foods that were originally designed to be simple and straightforward. Hipsters have taken them all to a ridiculous level of detail and made them wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am delicious. Linguica corn dogs, julienned beef cheek, pickled brussel sprouts doused in a locally produced IPA, etc etc. They’re crazy, but I’ll take it. With a side of duck fat potatoes.

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