Candy

My Aunt makes the best damn toffee in the world. True story.

Last year I thought to myself, “This can’t be that hard! I’ll just find a recipe and make some that will be just as good as hers.” Which I did. And do you know what that toffee did? Do you?

It ripped a crown right off one of my mom’s teeth. Poor woman put all this trust in her daughter to not feed her harmful substances and what did it get her? A giant dental bill right at Christmas.

And it didn’t even taste that great.

So this year, I took no chances. My dear Aunt sent along the recipe of non-dangerous, uber-tasty toffee and sha-zam. No harm to anyone’s chompers!

Butter Crunch Toffee

from Auntie Ba

2 sticks salted butter (MUST be salted)
1 c white sugar
1 T water
1/2 package chocolate chips (semi sweet, milk, dark, whatever your preference)
1 c finely chopped walnuts or pecans

1 c EXTRA finely chopped walnuts or pecansLine a 13 x 9″ pan with parchment paper. In a heavy-bottomed sauce pan melt the butter over medium heat. Turn to high and add the sugar and water, stirring constantly for about 3-5 minutes, or until toffee colored. It may smoke a bit and smell like it’s burning, but it won’t be. Just don’t let it get TOO dark brown! Remove from heat and add 1 cup finely chopped pecans or walnuts. Stir thoroughly and pour into the prepared pan and spread the mixture with a spatula. Sprinkle immediately with the chocolate chips and let sit for a minute. Once they get a bit melty, spread with a knife until smooth and even. Sprinkle with the extra finely chopped nuts and press down gently. Refrigerate until hard, about 30 minutes. Crack into pieces with a knife or your hands, then eat!

It’s been too long, foodie friends! Let’s bring sexy back with a tasty treat:

Ritz-cracker Toffee! Huh?

Drop the naysayer attitude and chomp into this deeeeeericious munchie that will have you begging for more. The original recipe centers around saltines, but I had none at hand; instead, I improvised with Ritz, which proved to be a buttery, perfectly acceptable substitute. In fact, you could really put almost any cracker that strikes your fancy in here. Peanut butter? Noms! Shortbread cookie? Possibly excessive, but this is hardly a Weight-watchers friendly recipe as it is.

You will need:

2 sleeves Ritz
1 stick butter
1.5 c chocolate chips
1 cup brown sugar
Chopped nuts, if desired

Preheat the oven to 350. Cover a baking sheet with tin foil and spray a TON cooking oil on top. Anyone who has worked with sugar knows how impossibly impossible (I encourage the redundancy in this case, because it can be a royal pain to deal with harden sugar-syrup).

When it’s good and greasy, spread a single layer of crackers on it:

The gaps inbetween proved to be great recesses to catch the toffee, but if you prefer a more even layer of cracker then break some up into smaller pieces and put them in the gaps.

In a medium saucepan, place the butter and sugar over medium heat.

When it reaches a rolling boil, remove from heat. Do not let it boil for too long or else the sugar will burn:

And pour over the crackers as evenly as possible:

Place in the hot oven for about 5 minutes or until bubbly. Much longer than 5 minutes will cause the crackers to burn a tad, so keep an eye on it.

Sprinkle the chocolate chips on top:

And spread into an even, melty layer with an off-set spatula:

At this point you can sprinkle the top with crumbled crackers, a bit of sea salt, toasted/chopped nuts, or maybe even marshmallows. Hmmm

Place in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or until set. You could eat it when it’s soft, but it won’t be nearly as tasty. When it is hardened, break into smaller pieces and eat it all. You will look something like this:

Basically, guilty and full of shame, but oh so cute.

NOMS!

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